


Fare Thee Well, My Love

by a_dusky_gold



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Basically all the good angst feels, Eileen Leahy Lives, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Feels, Goodbyes, I Blame Tumblr, Jess and Sam finally get their goodbye, Jessica Moore Lives, M/M, POV Jessica Moore, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 21:29:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12491248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_dusky_gold/pseuds/a_dusky_gold
Summary: Almost two decades after nearly burning on the ceiling, Jess finally gets to say farewell to the love of her life.





	Fare Thee Well, My Love

**Author's Note:**

> Again... challenges. Instead, this. Sigh. Damn you brain! *shakes fist at self* This is angsty as hell, but also like... good angst, and I blame [ this post ](https://dmsilvisart.tumblr.com/post/166758064963/sameileen-or-samjess) for this little piece. Enjoy and come yell at me on [Tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dusky-gold) or in the comments.

**Fare Thee Well, My Love**

_So this is it,_ Jess thinks dully. This is how it ends - strung up on a literal cross, in front of a sadistic shifter that’s wearing the face of the one man who changed everything.

“He doesn’t love you,” the not-Sam sneers. “Not anymore. He’s married.”

And it’s not like Jess doesn’t know that; she was  _there_ at their wedding, hidden in a corner as Sam and Eileen signed their vows to one another, the dark-haired angel that was apparently Dean’s husband officiating the ceremony. She’d snuck in, watching with a heavy heart, knowing it was her own fault -  _she_ chose to stay away, she  _chose_ to let Sam be the hunter he is.

Jess knows it all, but it still hurts. Because a part of her is still that naive twenty-one year old, in love with the sweetest, kindest man she’d ever met.

“He loved me once,” she protests in a weak voice. “Maybe not anymore, but once.”

“Did he?” the shifter smirks. “Or did he love the  _idea_ of you - all safe and normal, with no hint of the supernatural anywhere?” He steps closer to her and holds out the knife. The cold blade is a sharp contrast to the hot tears running down her face and Jess holds back the sob that bubbles in her throat.

“I’m him, Jessica,” not-Sam whispers, in an almost loving voice. “I’m in his head, and I see what he felt for you… He loved the idea of you, but he loves Eileen.”

“Lemme end it, baby,” he leans in to kiss her and Jess turns away, refusing his touch. “You’re hurting, I can tell, lemme take the pain-”

“Get away from her.”

Jess’s head whips around at the sound of that voice. It’s familiar, even if she’s heard only once before, hidden in the corner of the church.

The small woman stands there, machete in hand, long waves of dark hair falling over her shoulder. Behind her is a very familiar figure, looking exactly like the shifter in front of her.

“Sam,” she whispers hoarsely. “Ei-Eileen?”

Sam ignores her but Eileen shoots her a soft smile and Jess feels her heart leaping. The shifter snarls, racing forward and throwing the knife from one hand to the other. He jumps on top of him and for a moment, it’s as though two twins are wrestling one another, both of them going for the knife in the fake-Sam’s hand. 

Jess gasps, opening her mouth to yell at him, when another familiar, bass voice comes from right behind her. 

“Let’s get you outta here,” Dean’s low baritone is soothing as he snaps the cords holding her in place. She looks at him in disbelief, opening her mouth to protest when Eileen’s cry interrupts them. They turn in unison towards where one of the Sams - Jess can’t tell which one is her ex-boyfriend anymore - holds the other in a chokehold. 

“Eileen,” the one trapped begs, “Eileen, it’s me, you’ve got to-” 

“Shut up,” the Sam holding him tight snarls, “She’s my wife, she isn’t gonna get confused.” 

“Eileen,” he continues, ignoring him, “Eileen, you have to-”

Eileen stands there, her expression grim and determined. Her gun is in her hands and she has it pointed straight at the heart of the Sam who’s trapped - Jess knows that if she were in that position, she would be nowhere near as calm as the other hunter right now. 

Hell, Dean’s holding her up and she’s  _still_ trembling and shaking like she’s fucking used to back when she first started hunting on her own. 

“Don’t shoot me!” the trapped one yells, “Eileen, you can’t-” 

“Eileen, you sure?” Dean doesn’t respond to Jess’s weak punch, instead focusing on his sister-in-law and giving her the lead on this. 

The dark-haired woman simply jerks her head in a single nod and Dean takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and murmuring  _Cas_  under his breath. It takes Jess a moment to realize that he’s calling for  _his_  husband, even as Eileen cocks her gun and aims it at hers. 

“Fuck,” the trapped-Sam snarls, “Fuck, I  _knew_ I should’ve stayed loyal to Jess and not you.” Shaggy hair whips across his face as he turns to eye Jess and for a moment, she’s thrown back to almost two decades ago when those same hazel eyes, less lined with wrinkles than now, would soften so adoringly at her. 

“Jess,” he pleads, “Jess, it’s  _me_. You know me, right? It’s been so long, but I never stopped loving you, please Jess, I-”

_**BANG.** _

“ _No_!” Jess yells, but Eileen’s bullet goes straight through the Sam professing love to her, and it’s such dramatic irony, she can’t even laugh at it. 

The Sam that’s shot drops to the ground, and gurgles a little before going still, blood bubbling out of the wound on his chest. Eileen doesn’t drop her gun, still keeping it cocked at the Sam behind him. But the menacing expression on her face has faded and she’s almost smiling as Dean steps forward. 

“Sammy?” he asks cautiously. 

“It’s him, Dean,” comes a rough, whiskey-soaked voice behind them, and Jess turns to see Cas -  _fuck, that’s an **angel**_ \- nodding at them. Eileen drops the guarded stance to step forward and crash into Sam, who grins at his brother and brother-in-law tiredly before wrapping his arms around his wife. 

His wife… 

Jess feels her heart break in a manner that it hasn’t up until now. For so long, she’s kept that tiny little dream quiet, pushed it deep,  _deep_ down until it was just a sliver of hope - that someday, she might meet Sam, someday, she might be with him again, that someday…

Someday. 

Even at his wedding, it didn’t seem real. But now, standing here, over the carcass of the shifter that read her mind, that almost had her for just a second, watching Sam press a kiss to his wife’s forehead… this is when it finally sinks in. 

Sam isn’t hers anymore.

And watching the way he cups Eileen’s face and kisses her gently, moving back to have a quick exchange with her in sign language she doesn’t know how to follow, it occurs to her that maybe he never was. 

The shifter may have been a fucking dick, but he  _was_ right about one thing - Sam loved the idea of her back then. She was a safe option, a way for him to not be who he was, a way for him to bury the part of himself that he hated so deeply instead of accepting it and learning to work through it. 

“Woah there, blondie,” Dean pulls her close as she stumbles, the hot wetness of her tears nearly blinding her. “Yeah, you need rest, let’s get you back to the Bunker.”

“I’m fine,” Jess croaks. Honestly, all she wants is a warm bath and then to cuddle under her comforter and cry her eyes out. This heartbreak’s been a long time coming, she just wants it over with. 

“Jess, you’re hurt,” Sam mutters. He shoots Eileen a quick look before letting go of her and walking over to her. Jess stiffens and pushes Dean away, standing up on shaky feet. From the corner of her eye, she sees Dean move over to where Eileen and Cas are, both men bracketing her from either side. 

“I’m fine,” she repeats. “Thanks for saving me, but I had it handled.” 

Sam barks out a sound that is a cross between a strangled laugh and a sob. “Saved you,” he says in a hollow tone. “Couldn’t save you then, and now…” 

“It’s over, Sam,” Jess says, somewhat harshly. “It’s been years. You moved on, I moved on, the world’s moved on.” 

“Did you though?” Sam shoots her a shrewd look. “Missouri told us how you’ve been hunting on your own since, why didn’t you just…  _call_?”

He sounds like exactly like that naive boy who’d accidentally walked into the pre-med class instead of the pre-law one, and for a second, Jess sees the love of her life reflected on his face. 

“Would you have answered if I did?” she asks softly. “Would you have left Dean behind then?” 

Sam winces and falls silent. Because the truth is that he wouldn’t - he won’t even now, she can see it in the way both Dean and Cas have their arms wrapped around Eileen and hold her close in between them. 

 _That’s the difference between her and the other woman,_  she realizes. Because as much as Jess loved - loves - Sam, she can’t share him with Dean (and Cas, she has to admit) the way Eileen can… because Eileen holds on to the life they’ve patched together from the tattered remnants of what they’ve chosen as family and Jess, in her heart of hearts, still wants away from it all, still wants that house with the picket-fence and 2.0 kids that she and Sam once dreamt of. 

“It’s alright, Sam,” she whispers, sniffling and unable to stop the damn tears. “I don’t blame you.” 

Sam leans forward and hugs her, drawing her close to himself. “I’m sorry, Jessica,” he murmurs in her ear. “I’m sorry that you got dragged into all this. Because of me.” 

She rests her forehead on his strong shoulder and for a moment, just a moment, allows herself to believe that this is real, that this isn’t goodbye, but a return of what was once hers. 

Then, her eyes flutter open and she sees Eileen watching them both with a guarded, tense expression on her face. Their eyes meet as Jessica pulls away from Sam, mouthing  _I’m sorry_ to the woman who married the man she knows she’s always going to love. 

Eileen’s expression turns softer and she nods at Jess, the quiet acknowledgment all she needs. 

Jess turns back to Sam and leans to kiss his cheek softly. 

“Be happy, Sam,” she whispers. “Take care of her, okay?” she jerks her head in his wife’s direction and watches as he turns a tender expression towards her. 

“I will,” he answers.

“You kids are breakin’ my heart,” Dean interrupts, “But we need to get back to the Bunker.” 

“Just take me back to my motel, please,” Jess shakes her head.

“Are you certain?” Eileen asks. “You could come back with us for a while, take a look at the Bunker.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” Jess says. “But I just want to go home.” 

“I can take you,” Cas offers. “Why don’t you three get back to the Impala while I fly Jessica to her room?”

“Alright, babe,” Dean leans over to press a quick kiss to Cas’s mouth and despite the gravity of the situation, Jess finds her lips curling into a knowing smile at the sight. She  _knew_ she’d seen the repression oozing from Dean all those years ago. He seems to have finally worked it out with the angel since at least, even if her own love life has gone for a complete toss. 

Before she can say anything else, Cas strides forward and takes her arm with a nod. Sam reaches over and tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear one last time. 

“Bye, Jessica,” he whispers. 

“Goodbye, Sam,” she answers. 

The last thing she sees is his soft smile and twinkling hazel eyes, bidding her the bittersweet farewell they’d never had the chance for before. 


End file.
